Hi there , golfers and Kevin,
What a great day and thanks all for making the journey , whether near or far, and thanks to you all for contributing to a most successful day!
I judge the success of the day by the reading on the ' Peter Boxometer' which was overflowing and burbling away until closing time on Thursday night!
The Thursday evening was made even more special as the Crows Nest seemed to have missed a few bottles off the final bill!
The build up to the event started with a few pick ups from Aston Clinton, then the Crows Nest and then onto the Greyhound in Tring with messrs Beecroft, Jordan, Cunneen, Barrett, Hastie, Lee, Merchant R, Merchant A and cabbie Walker ! Not much talk about golf ,in fact it was not mentioned. Bar staff kept busy until past midnight - a perfect preparation before negotiating the flat slopes known as Chiltern Forest!
1)
Steve Walker
Posh John
Tony Kemp ( held by police after another display for sportsmanship from the Milwall fans)
Chris Lee
Tubbs Lee and Steve 'bonecrusher' Walker created enough divots due to their weight advantage (!) to destroy the fortunes of the next group behind who spent most of their time repairing the course ! Posh John's calming influence was tested severely!
2)
Doug Barrett
Steve Cunneen
George Beecroft
Rory Merchant Snr
Without the clumsy Verity to drive the Merch about, the task was left to the shorter than average dwarf , Mr Barrett who could just see above the dash board. Geordie and the Cane Furniture expert, Mr Cunneen both commented on the 17th hole for the 45th time that "these greens are fast" and then proceeded to overhit their putts - and end up further from the hole - again !
3)
David Coupe
John Holm
Paul Hancox
Simon Austin
The Wigan lawyer (1st winner of the Mug) trying the old trick of trying to put everyone else off by flying the flag - unfortunately it was wrapped around his arse ! it certainly seemed to work in his group .John was wearing factor forty just in case the heat was too fierce and the two HSBC boys , Paul and Simon, showed that days off work playing golf, has kept their fitness levels up !
4)
Paul Johnson
Jem Ritchie
Sacha Humphrey
Liam Lynch
The Barclays boys may have lost their Diamond but certainly none of their sparkle - producing a top score from the Sacha on his 'evergreen' handicap of 28 - well done Sacha - Paul felt at home when he discovered there was another Mackem on the course ! Jem was looking confident of not winning the midget award and Liam was looking elsewhere for talent !
5)
Doug Jordan
Andy Campbell
Danny Murley ( absent due to personal problems - sneaking out with golf clubs without being noticed!)
Gary Cavazzi
Team and individual prizes on show here - with Doug's experience not surprising that the ball seemed to 'run off ' the green . The Chicago Bear claimed the health prize at Champneys - not that he seemed to need it - he could have given it to Andy who seemed to have the terrain mapped out on his legs - all up and down and with those veins more like a course planner !
6)
Martin Irisarri
Brian Fenton
Jason Day
Paul Callin
The most outrageous shirt and most outrageous score won by the same outrageous bloke with the most outrageous surname ! the shirt prize was close between Martin and Jason , the latter who was not present to take part in the Midget award !. There must have been too much talk on rugby between Kiwi Brian and the Mayor of RIpley , who was looking dashing as usual, rather than concentration on the golf!
7)
Julian Tighe
Keith Nevett
Gary Griffiths
Stewart Laderman
Great show from the Asto boys - and Julian marked his return to top flight golf with the longest drive. Gary will have more time to practice now he is in retired mode - funny I thought that had happened years ago - Stuart and Keith added stabilising influence on the city drunks !
8)
Jim Hastie
Tom Taylor
Rory Merchant Jnr
Will Green
This group was accompanied by the Legend, Andy Taylor who provided much mirth and urine extraction to the players in his group - including his son Tom and previous winner Merch junior. Will was just dreaming of winning the midget prize - being slightly taller than the average dwarf !
9)
Kevin Joyner
Tony Strachan
Martin Roffey - (absent - strained his neck, whilst straining his greens)
Ron Haddon
Kevin described his round of golf "crap " and therefore he deserves the major prize (actually cost more than the Merchy Mug! ) - don't forget to put the seat down after you use it !
The city brokers would have won the team event - if they simply stayed in the clubhouse and added their handicaps together ! Tony supported the headgear of his late northern ancestors and the same shirt by the looks of it. Ron, as usual was left with keeping the kids in order.
10)
Steve Shaw
Michael Clinton
Peter Meyers
Toby Montague
This group possessed the various categories of hockey, cricket, golfing, no dress sense, no sense at all and the only reason I put them all togethers is that they are all drunks ! From the fine wine Clinton, to the never too sure Shaw, to the Eco friendly Montague to the weird and wonderful world of Herbie Meyers!
judging by the prizes they amassed , golf was not the top priority of the day !
11)
Arthur Merchant
Gerald O'Mahoney
Jim Pearce
Two heavy weights and one midget made for an interesting contest. Arthur used his local knowledge of the course to play exceptionally badly, whilst Jim could barely see above the rough - Jim claimed the midget prize by sporting moccasins to narrowly pip at the post the bouton back combed hairstyle of Mr Barrett. Great to see the old Kilburn drinking crew out - my first game of golf was with them over Richmond Park many years ago nursing a giant hangover caused by Mr O'Mahoney !
The paths were wide enough for a buggy , but alas, not wide enough for Arthur !
All in all, a good time was had by all except for the greenskeeper who has the task of turning the divot ridden allotment back in to something that resembles a golf course.
Damage includes -
- three bunkers emptied of sand - two by Kevin !
- nine rakes stolen that appeared for sale on Steve Walkers eBay the next day
- one rake broken by Kevin trying to rake the sand back into the bunker
- Eight trees need to be destroyed owing to ball damage - six by Kevin
- SIx squirrels run over by Tubbs Lee
- four cars hit - Kevin did own up to this but he thought it was five.
- 16 species of birds made homeless due to stray shots blitzing their nests - nine by Kevin!
- one fox, rogered from behind - Geordie still claims he is innocent - but the fur and grass stains on his trousers was the give away - not forgetting the smile on his face !
Sincere thanks to all of you Merchy mates who contributed to make the day a success not forgetting the golfers' WAGS , Irene, Hazel and Louise with all their work and Procesco bottle emptying ! we think we have raised over £1640, to which will be added the generous Barclays £4£ donation of £750 - far exceeding expectations. Combining that with loads of fun and banter and alcohol , ensured the day was a success.
David Coupe has suggested Royal Epping for the next one and that seems to be greeted with eagerness - so watch this space ! Book spring out in your diaries !
Thanks again all - it certainly made my day and I do hope you all enjoyed it too
Cheers
The Thursday evening was made even more special as the Crows Nest seemed to have missed a few bottles off the final bill!
The build up to the event started with a few pick ups from Aston Clinton, then the Crows Nest and then onto the Greyhound in Tring with messrs Beecroft, Jordan, Cunneen, Barrett, Hastie, Lee, Merchant R, Merchant A and cabbie Walker ! Not much talk about golf ,in fact it was not mentioned. Bar staff kept busy until past midnight - a perfect preparation before negotiating the flat slopes known as Chiltern Forest!
1)
Steve Walker
Posh John
Tony Kemp ( held by police after another display for sportsmanship from the Milwall fans)
Chris Lee
Tubbs Lee and Steve 'bonecrusher' Walker created enough divots due to their weight advantage (!) to destroy the fortunes of the next group behind who spent most of their time repairing the course ! Posh John's calming influence was tested severely!
2)
Doug Barrett
Steve Cunneen
George Beecroft
Rory Merchant Snr
Without the clumsy Verity to drive the Merch about, the task was left to the shorter than average dwarf , Mr Barrett who could just see above the dash board. Geordie and the Cane Furniture expert, Mr Cunneen both commented on the 17th hole for the 45th time that "these greens are fast" and then proceeded to overhit their putts - and end up further from the hole - again !
3)
David Coupe
John Holm
Paul Hancox
Simon Austin
The Wigan lawyer (1st winner of the Mug) trying the old trick of trying to put everyone else off by flying the flag - unfortunately it was wrapped around his arse ! it certainly seemed to work in his group .John was wearing factor forty just in case the heat was too fierce and the two HSBC boys , Paul and Simon, showed that days off work playing golf, has kept their fitness levels up !
4)
Paul Johnson
Jem Ritchie
Sacha Humphrey
Liam Lynch
The Barclays boys may have lost their Diamond but certainly none of their sparkle - producing a top score from the Sacha on his 'evergreen' handicap of 28 - well done Sacha - Paul felt at home when he discovered there was another Mackem on the course ! Jem was looking confident of not winning the midget award and Liam was looking elsewhere for talent !
5)
Doug Jordan
Andy Campbell
Danny Murley ( absent due to personal problems - sneaking out with golf clubs without being noticed!)
Gary Cavazzi
Team and individual prizes on show here - with Doug's experience not surprising that the ball seemed to 'run off ' the green . The Chicago Bear claimed the health prize at Champneys - not that he seemed to need it - he could have given it to Andy who seemed to have the terrain mapped out on his legs - all up and down and with those veins more like a course planner !
6)
Martin Irisarri
Brian Fenton
Jason Day
Paul Callin
The most outrageous shirt and most outrageous score won by the same outrageous bloke with the most outrageous surname ! the shirt prize was close between Martin and Jason , the latter who was not present to take part in the Midget award !. There must have been too much talk on rugby between Kiwi Brian and the Mayor of RIpley , who was looking dashing as usual, rather than concentration on the golf!
7)
Julian Tighe
Keith Nevett
Gary Griffiths
Stewart Laderman
Great show from the Asto boys - and Julian marked his return to top flight golf with the longest drive. Gary will have more time to practice now he is in retired mode - funny I thought that had happened years ago - Stuart and Keith added stabilising influence on the city drunks !
8)
Jim Hastie
Tom Taylor
Rory Merchant Jnr
Will Green
This group was accompanied by the Legend, Andy Taylor who provided much mirth and urine extraction to the players in his group - including his son Tom and previous winner Merch junior. Will was just dreaming of winning the midget prize - being slightly taller than the average dwarf !
9)
Kevin Joyner
Tony Strachan
Martin Roffey - (absent - strained his neck, whilst straining his greens)
Ron Haddon
Kevin described his round of golf "crap " and therefore he deserves the major prize (actually cost more than the Merchy Mug! ) - don't forget to put the seat down after you use it !
The city brokers would have won the team event - if they simply stayed in the clubhouse and added their handicaps together ! Tony supported the headgear of his late northern ancestors and the same shirt by the looks of it. Ron, as usual was left with keeping the kids in order.
10)
Steve Shaw
Michael Clinton
Peter Meyers
Toby Montague
This group possessed the various categories of hockey, cricket, golfing, no dress sense, no sense at all and the only reason I put them all togethers is that they are all drunks ! From the fine wine Clinton, to the never too sure Shaw, to the Eco friendly Montague to the weird and wonderful world of Herbie Meyers!
judging by the prizes they amassed , golf was not the top priority of the day !
11)
Arthur Merchant
Gerald O'Mahoney
Jim Pearce
Two heavy weights and one midget made for an interesting contest. Arthur used his local knowledge of the course to play exceptionally badly, whilst Jim could barely see above the rough - Jim claimed the midget prize by sporting moccasins to narrowly pip at the post the bouton back combed hairstyle of Mr Barrett. Great to see the old Kilburn drinking crew out - my first game of golf was with them over Richmond Park many years ago nursing a giant hangover caused by Mr O'Mahoney !
The paths were wide enough for a buggy , but alas, not wide enough for Arthur !
All in all, a good time was had by all except for the greenskeeper who has the task of turning the divot ridden allotment back in to something that resembles a golf course.
Damage includes -
- three bunkers emptied of sand - two by Kevin !
- nine rakes stolen that appeared for sale on Steve Walkers eBay the next day
- one rake broken by Kevin trying to rake the sand back into the bunker
- Eight trees need to be destroyed owing to ball damage - six by Kevin
- SIx squirrels run over by Tubbs Lee
- four cars hit - Kevin did own up to this but he thought it was five.
- 16 species of birds made homeless due to stray shots blitzing their nests - nine by Kevin!
- one fox, rogered from behind - Geordie still claims he is innocent - but the fur and grass stains on his trousers was the give away - not forgetting the smile on his face !
Sincere thanks to all of you Merchy mates who contributed to make the day a success not forgetting the golfers' WAGS , Irene, Hazel and Louise with all their work and Procesco bottle emptying ! we think we have raised over £1640, to which will be added the generous Barclays £4£ donation of £750 - far exceeding expectations. Combining that with loads of fun and banter and alcohol , ensured the day was a success.
David Coupe has suggested Royal Epping for the next one and that seems to be greeted with eagerness - so watch this space ! Book spring out in your diaries !
Thanks again all - it certainly made my day and I do hope you all enjoyed it too
Cheers