DENHAM INQUEST
A day in the country !
Well done to all for making a superb effort for the 730am start for what was a fantastic day. Thanks to Dirt Box for venue arrangements - course played well even if we didn't! I hear he has now been banned from the club due to complaints following state of his guests! Well done Tubby Lee for the speech preparation and email traffic in getting the bets sorted and collecting cash etc. The hard core left the De Vere about 10.30pm - I suspect there are more stories to come from those who stayed there!
Congratulations are warranted to the following:
Peter 'Dirt ' Box - prize for the best turned out Aussie and the shortest player. We must record thanks for providing the perfect stage for the second Merchy Mug competition Apparently suffering from a 'fuzzy head' - strange, he always wears that one!
Martin - a few people took note of his surname for future Scrabble events - 74 points on a treble word square. As you would expect from a baldy - quality golf performance and didn't burn the canvass under the relentless sun. Pity he could not stay and enjoy some of the liquid banter - but that would have made his busy work day on Tuesday - totally unworkable!
Tubby Lee - most coordinated speech delivery ever witnessed at Denham - Coupey was blamed for loss of his mobile and for not letting Chris have access to his port ! We always knew he had short arms but not really noticed the long sleeves ! Sort yourself out fat boy!
Coupey - well we must not go without mention on those shorts and matching (?) top - staying power never too much in doubt - always tactically aware - retired to room 5 mins before we sorted final bill out!
Des - must have thought he was playing alongside his mate Rommel as he spent so much time in the sand. Can you sign off for a new mobile phone for Tubbs? Des was not looking forward to penalties with Chelsea Jem after the putting!
Jim - making his Merchy Mug debut and clearly understood the rules - sod the golf and take in as much fluids as humanly possible! Great performance from the amiable Sweatty!
John Holden - I have brief recollection of him telling the chicken joke later on ! Pity it was the brief version! Can't wait until the next time Must stretch it out a bit more ! Any myth that Monte Carlo Reinsurance Rendezvous was a hectic work schedule went totally out of the window!
Sacha - looked cool in the putting contest despite barracking from the terrace - my only regret was that I never had too much time to get his impartial views on immigration!
Liam - local barmaids can't understand why they were ignored by the ' dark horse ' - losing his touch? Just like Arsenal, no trophy this time but who knows he might have picked up something on the way out!
Jonno - precision golf from the Wearsider in winning the nearest the pin. If it was Jonno who left his prize of bottle of red - thanks and it was put to good use!
Jem - touched (several times by Arthur! ) by the events of the day! Thanks to Ginge for losing the toss and electing to drive! Let's hear the Munich stories next time out!
Tony - as usual, relatively quiet and just soaked up the atmosphere and any drink within arm’s reach! Hope the snooze home in the back of the cab was good!
Colin 'Ginge' Langley - latest double dip recession clearly having major effect on the forehead and reduction in Ginge thatch. Not a lot heard about his golf over lunch - no trick shots this time out! Different character when not on the booze!
Kevin - probably the best turned out athlete on the day - all those hours in the gym are now paying rewards ! The amount of daily sit ups to get the stomach bulging like that takes dedication!
Herbie - we did not see too much of his designer golf clothing on this event - but the 15 year old Millets' summer wear range certainly caught the eye!
Doug - regretted not taking advantage of an attractive buggy driver, driver off the tee, fairway assistance and reserve putter to help him round the course ! Took loads of medicine on board later in the bar - not sure when he went and where he went to !
Steve Walker - fell over later in the day and caused an earthquake in Italy - he never liked them much! Took in valuable legal advice from Chicken John later in the evening.
Arthur - clearly identified as the older brother and despite my illness I still look a lot fitter than him! If you are serious about losing weight , get a dose of MND - believe me it works!
Rory Jnr - a worthy winner on the day and a winning speech - well compared with Tubbs that is! You are the only Rory Merchant ever to be inscribed on a golf trophy!
Me ? - it has to be said I enjoyed the day immensely - only marred by Verity managing to sit on my left hand 37 times whilst escorting me around the Denham countryside in the buggy ! I don't blame her entirely and you will pleased to know that some feeling is starting to come back in the hand!
Verity - well done for being such superb company during the golf , lunch , drinks and being very tolerant of the alcohol fuelled banter later on ! You were in fact voted the best looking lady on the course closely followed by Coupey!
Cheers all again and we managed to raise £450 for the MNDA charity which is well appreciated and a bonus! The aim for the day was to have some fun - I think we achieved that !
Merchy
Well done to all for making a superb effort for the 730am start for what was a fantastic day. Thanks to Dirt Box for venue arrangements - course played well even if we didn't! I hear he has now been banned from the club due to complaints following state of his guests! Well done Tubby Lee for the speech preparation and email traffic in getting the bets sorted and collecting cash etc. The hard core left the De Vere about 10.30pm - I suspect there are more stories to come from those who stayed there!
Congratulations are warranted to the following:
Peter 'Dirt ' Box - prize for the best turned out Aussie and the shortest player. We must record thanks for providing the perfect stage for the second Merchy Mug competition Apparently suffering from a 'fuzzy head' - strange, he always wears that one!
Martin - a few people took note of his surname for future Scrabble events - 74 points on a treble word square. As you would expect from a baldy - quality golf performance and didn't burn the canvass under the relentless sun. Pity he could not stay and enjoy some of the liquid banter - but that would have made his busy work day on Tuesday - totally unworkable!
Tubby Lee - most coordinated speech delivery ever witnessed at Denham - Coupey was blamed for loss of his mobile and for not letting Chris have access to his port ! We always knew he had short arms but not really noticed the long sleeves ! Sort yourself out fat boy!
Coupey - well we must not go without mention on those shorts and matching (?) top - staying power never too much in doubt - always tactically aware - retired to room 5 mins before we sorted final bill out!
Des - must have thought he was playing alongside his mate Rommel as he spent so much time in the sand. Can you sign off for a new mobile phone for Tubbs? Des was not looking forward to penalties with Chelsea Jem after the putting!
Jim - making his Merchy Mug debut and clearly understood the rules - sod the golf and take in as much fluids as humanly possible! Great performance from the amiable Sweatty!
John Holden - I have brief recollection of him telling the chicken joke later on ! Pity it was the brief version! Can't wait until the next time Must stretch it out a bit more ! Any myth that Monte Carlo Reinsurance Rendezvous was a hectic work schedule went totally out of the window!
Sacha - looked cool in the putting contest despite barracking from the terrace - my only regret was that I never had too much time to get his impartial views on immigration!
Liam - local barmaids can't understand why they were ignored by the ' dark horse ' - losing his touch? Just like Arsenal, no trophy this time but who knows he might have picked up something on the way out!
Jonno - precision golf from the Wearsider in winning the nearest the pin. If it was Jonno who left his prize of bottle of red - thanks and it was put to good use!
Jem - touched (several times by Arthur! ) by the events of the day! Thanks to Ginge for losing the toss and electing to drive! Let's hear the Munich stories next time out!
Tony - as usual, relatively quiet and just soaked up the atmosphere and any drink within arm’s reach! Hope the snooze home in the back of the cab was good!
Colin 'Ginge' Langley - latest double dip recession clearly having major effect on the forehead and reduction in Ginge thatch. Not a lot heard about his golf over lunch - no trick shots this time out! Different character when not on the booze!
Kevin - probably the best turned out athlete on the day - all those hours in the gym are now paying rewards ! The amount of daily sit ups to get the stomach bulging like that takes dedication!
Herbie - we did not see too much of his designer golf clothing on this event - but the 15 year old Millets' summer wear range certainly caught the eye!
Doug - regretted not taking advantage of an attractive buggy driver, driver off the tee, fairway assistance and reserve putter to help him round the course ! Took loads of medicine on board later in the bar - not sure when he went and where he went to !
Steve Walker - fell over later in the day and caused an earthquake in Italy - he never liked them much! Took in valuable legal advice from Chicken John later in the evening.
Arthur - clearly identified as the older brother and despite my illness I still look a lot fitter than him! If you are serious about losing weight , get a dose of MND - believe me it works!
Rory Jnr - a worthy winner on the day and a winning speech - well compared with Tubbs that is! You are the only Rory Merchant ever to be inscribed on a golf trophy!
Me ? - it has to be said I enjoyed the day immensely - only marred by Verity managing to sit on my left hand 37 times whilst escorting me around the Denham countryside in the buggy ! I don't blame her entirely and you will pleased to know that some feeling is starting to come back in the hand!
Verity - well done for being such superb company during the golf , lunch , drinks and being very tolerant of the alcohol fuelled banter later on ! You were in fact voted the best looking lady on the course closely followed by Coupey!
Cheers all again and we managed to raise £450 for the MNDA charity which is well appreciated and a bonus! The aim for the day was to have some fun - I think we achieved that !
Merchy